Day 77

Tomorrow my husband and I leave for California to attend his best friend's wedding.  So today I went shopping for the trip.  While wandering around collecting road-trip munchies and paraphernalia, I came across my friend who works there.  We chatted for about ten minutes, and then I continued my wandering while he continued stacking dog treats on the end cap.

I don't know why it is, but I love seeing people I know while I'm working.  If I see someone I know while I'm out and about that's great, but if I see them at Kohl's while I'm working then I've hit the jackpot. I think a lot of people are like this.  There is something extra special that happens when someone comes to where you work.  For me,  it provides a highlight in the midst of monotonous tasks.  I usually keep working if I run into someone I know so that I don't waste company time, but the work is more interesting with someone to talk to.  Yesterday, my brother stopped by for just a moment while I was at work and it made me happy. He didn't stay for long, but it was good just to see him.

I'm glad I ran into my friend today.  It provided a highlight for me and I hope that it provided a highlight for him.  Sometimes it's so easy to encourage someone you know and all you have to do is stop by their work for a quick hello.

May you find joy in seeing friends while you work.

Day 76

It was a long day today.  It was eight hours on my feet at work followed by a three hour class.  It was not without joy, however.  At work we have some tables with merchandise on them that always get destroyed.  It usually looks like someone took every piece of clothing and tossed them in the air, and then crammed them back on the tables.  It's not pretty.  I spent about four hours today organizing those tables. I was reminded while working on them that our God is a God of order, and so I organized them to the glory of God.  I'm sure when I go in on Thursday they will look pretty much how they always look.  However, for one afternoon those tables were organized and beautiful. 

May you find joy in beautifully organized things.

Day 75

There seems to have been lots of significant news in my life recently. Not in my life precisely, but in the lives of people I know which in turn affects me. It seems like sometimes you can go for months at a time without anything exciting happening, and then suddenly everything happens at once.  This feels like an everything-happening-at-once time.  Some of it is good news and some of it is bad news, but in either case things are happening.  I must confess that I like these times more than the slow times.  I have a problem of getting bored easily and that causes a spiral of over-commitment and eventual burn-out.  I know the cycle, but I still do it if I start getting bored.  In my opinion anything is better than being bored.  That's why I like the "things are happening" times; they keep things interesting.

 I don't think that it is a coincidence that I am learning about prayer in my seminary class this month while all these things are happening.  God is teaching me how to pray, and then He is providing lots of things to practice on.  It's a good thing, too, because I realize that I need lots of practice.  It's such a privilege to see God work in my life and in the lives of people I know and love.  It's also a privilege to come confidently before the throne of grace with my needs and requests and know that God hears me and  delights in answering me. May you find joy in prayer

Day 74

I know that worship is about God and not about us.  I know that we should pick worship songs based on what God likes and not on what we like.  I know that if we worship simply to get an emotional high that we've missed the point.   I know that we are the creatures and God is the creator and we worship Him because it is what He deserves, and because it is one way we show our love and gratefulness to Him.

I know all that.

I also know that I love the song, "Here in Your Presence".

That song moves me whenever I hear it.  Heaven is closer when I sing it, and I just want to keep on singing it forever. If you don't know the song, here are the lyrics:


Found in Your hands, fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away
Here in Your presence
All of my gains now fade away
Every crown no longer on display,
Here in Your presence
Heaven is trembling in awe of Your wonders
The kings and their kingdom are standing amazed

Chorus:
Here in Your presence, we are undone
Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence, all things are new
Here in Your presence, everything bows before You

Bridge:
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way


Worship should not move us merely to an empty emotional state, but worship should move us.  If we could see God sitting before us as our audience when we worship we would be moved.  God is our audience when we worship, only we cannot see Him, and that is hard for deeply visual people like ourselves.  Jesus rebuked Thomas for believing only after he saw with his eyes; will we be rebuked for not believing because we haven't seen? "Here in Your Presence" helps me bridge the gap.  I think that is why I like it so much.  It reminds me that I am in the presence of God and that He is right here right now.  I am not singing to the ceiling or to the wall--I am singing to God himself.   And I love that.  In His presence my gains do fade away and my crowns aren't on display.  He wipes away my fears and I truly find fullness of joy.  I am undone.

May you find the fullness of joy in the presence of God.

Day 73

Tonight I am watching "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" while doing a list of random things that need done.  I really like that movie, and was surprised to find out that we own it.  As many times as I have looked through Phil's movies I thought I would have seen it before now, but no.  However, I am glad to finally make that lovely discovery.

The plot of the movie has a lot of twists and turns, but basic plot should be familiar to you.  It's taken from another story that is centuries old.  Don't know what I'm talking about?  Well then, let me help you.  There are a group of cursed pirates who are the living dead.  Nothing satisfies them: they are hungry but food never fills them up.  They are thirsty but drinking never quenches their thirst. They are skeletons which cannot die to end their agony.  In order to end their curse, they need the blood of one man, the son of one of their fellow pirates, to fall on the treasure that they have stolen.   When that happens, they become alive again.

Now does it sound familiar? It should: It's the gospel in a nutshell.  We were the living dead.  We were alive and yet dead in our sin.  Nothing on earth could satisfy our deepest need.  We needed someone to take away sin's curse, and only one man was able to do that, the Son of God Jesus Christ.  He spilled His blood so that we could live again.

There you go: the Gospel according to Pirates of the Caribbean. It's not a perfect analogy, but no analogy ever is.  I was just thrilled to find the gospel in a secular movie.  I wonder where else it is and if I've missed it.

May you find joy in discovering the gospel.

Day 72

I ran out of the house this morning already late from when I normally leave for work.  That's when I discovered that it was snowing.  Actually, that description is a little tame. That's when I discovered that it was a blizzard outside.  Brushing off my car put me further behind schedule, and so did the discovery that the roads were indeed very icy.  I discovered that when I did a little shimmy on my first stop.  Normally on snowy/icy days I have an alternate route to work that avoids hills but also takes longer.  Of course, normally I also realize that it is snowing before I leave for work and plan accordingly.  But today I didn't have extra time, so I decided to risk going over Austin Bluffs hill.  If you knew my history of accidents in the snow, you would probably not think that was a good idea.  Add to the fact that visibility was way down due to the furiously blowing snow and it turns into a bad idea.  But I did it anyway. 

And...


I made it to work safely.  No one ran into me, and I didn't hit any curbs, or cars, or anything else either.  That's enough to make anyone grateful, and especially me.  About an hour later I heard on the news that they closed Austin Bluffs hill due to icy conditions.  Thank you, Lord, for keeping me safe.

May you find joy in the Lord's protection.

Day 71

It sounded like a great plan last night.  Phil would wake up at 7:00, and then wake me up at 8:00 so that we could have breakfast together, and then he would leave for work at 9:00.  The plan seemed a little less great this morning when he woke me up.  I was tired.  I had only gotten four hours of sleep the night before and could still feel it.  Phil asked me if I wanted to keep sleeping, and every part of me wanted to say yes.  But I didn't.  Instead, I got up and made us breakfast.  We had a nice hour together before he left for work. 

After he had left, I thought, "If I had slept in, I would have missed a morning with my husband."  Sleep's great, but I can always sleep when he is not here.  Sleep is not more important than my relationship with him.  And then I had the convicting thought, "How many times have I done that to God?"  How many times have I placed my own selfish desires above spending time with God through prayer or in the Word?  Too many.  My actions show that maybe I don't value my relationship with God as much as I think I do.  This is sobering to think about.  I say that I love God and want to know Him more, but do I actually do anything about it?

I am going to a seminary class on godliness and spiritual disciplines.  I have been deeply convicted and greatly encouraged through the lectures on godliness, prayer, and spending time in the Word.   It has made me realize where I am weak and how to work on those weaknesses.  The ultimate goal, however, is not to pray more or read my Bible more.  The goal is to love Jesus more and deepen my relationship with Him.  Our focus must always be Jesus or else we will fall into checklist Christianity.

I realize that I still have a ways to go. I have hope in knowing, however, that nothing I can do will make God love me more, and He has given me the Holy Spirit who will help me love Him more.  Everything that I need to grow in godliness and in my love of Christ God has already given me.  The battle is already won, and all that I need to do is show up to fight and depend on His strength and power to see me through.

May you find joy in spending time with the Lord.

Day 70

I am reading through a book by D.A.Carson called, "A Call to Spiritual Reformation".  I have heard high praise for D.A. Carson's books and now I know why.  I have only read the first four chapters but they have already been impactful and hopefully life-changing.  In this book he goes through the prayers of Paul in the New Testament and uses them as a model for us to follow when we pray.  There is a lot to learn from Paul's prayers.  In one chapter there is eight pages of Paul's prayers pulled from scripture.  Two things become very clear when you read all of the prayers one after the other.  One: Paul loved the Lord Jesus Christ and His gospel.  Two: Paul loved the people of God.  I love reading the books that Paul wrote because you can hear his heart of love in every sentence.  It gave me great joy today to read through his prayers and hear his passion for Christ and for His church.  I encourage to take some time this week and do the same.  I know that you will be deeply encouraged.

May you find joy in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Day 69

The only reason we can know and experience joy is because we know and experience the opposites of joy.  Sadness. Fear. Heartache. Depression.  Pain.  We don't need a blog to tell us how to find these things in our lives because they are the unwanted guests that pop up uninvited all too often. However, as unwelcome as they are they do serve a purpose.  Although I can't prove this, I have observed that the deeper the level of pain and sadness that a person goes through in life, greater is the level of joy they can experience.  The joy is sweeter on the rougher roads.

This week my family experienced one of the hard things that we all go through in life.  My uncle was in a serious bike accident and spent most of the week in the hospital, some of it in ICU.  For a couple of days it looked pretty serious, and there were some thoughts that this might be the end. By God's grace it looks like the worst is over, although recovery will probably be slow.

Like everybody, I don't like it when stuff like that happens. It's scary. It's hard.  It reminds you that life is fragile and that it can be snuffed out in the blink of an eye.  I hate waiting around for a phone call that I don't want to get. I've been there and I've done that and I don't want to do it again, although I know I will.  It's life.

The one thing I've learned when going through hard things like this is that God is faithful. I heard a quote recently that said, "If you were completely loving, wise, and sovereign, you would run the world exactly the way that God does."  I like that.  It's a good reminder that God's in control so that I don't need to be.  I don't need to know why or how it's going to turn out; all I need to do is trust Him, and He will take care of the rest.

May you find joy in the hard times.

Day 68

Today is my birthday.  I had a wonderful day full of birthday wishes from friends and my annual birthday haircut.  It was a good day.

May you find joy in celebrating life.

Day 67

I worked as a floral designer for five years. Four years ago I "retired" from the business and now I help out at my old floral shop on a seasonal basis during the crazy flower holidays, which obviously includes Valentine's Day.  On Valentine's day and the days leading up to it a floral shop is madness epitomized. I don't know how to say it more succinctly than that. I'm convinced that all floral designers are at least a little crazy and most of us are closer to going off the deep end than not, and a lot of that has to do with the double punch of Valentine's Day and Mother's Day.  It's physically hard.  It's emotionally hard.  It's mentally hard.

People assume that since I work with so many flowers leading up to February 14th that the last thing I want for Valentine's day is flowers.  Why wouldn't I?  I love flowers.  I probably love flowers more than you do. I worked with them for five years after all.  During the Valentine's madness I work with hundreds of roses, but when I see a really beautiful one it still stops me in my tracks.  I would say it's hard, if not impossible, to become desensitized to beauty, even when you are surrounded by it day and night for days at a time.  It's stressful to work with flowers because some open too fast and then die, and others don't open fast enough and look pathetic, and sometimes you don't have the right colors or the right sizes, and sometimes the flowers will just not do what you want them to do.  But the redeeming factor is that they are still beautiful.

This year I made myself an arrangement with some roses that had opened too much to sell and kept it on the counter in front of me at work.  Those roses were beautiful, and no matter how many other arrangements I made I still enjoyed looking at them.  It was my little spot of joy in the midst of all of the stress and tiredness and the hundreds of orders. It's the little things like that which keep you going when you want to give up.

May you find joy in the little things.

Announcement

Due to a very busy week ahead of me, this blog will continue with regularly scheduled postings starting on February 15th.  Thank you for your continued interest and support. 

Day 66

The greatest joy today was learning that I do not have to work tomorrow.  On a week where free hours are going to be few and far between, receiving four extra of them was indeed a gift.  Probably the second greatest joy was finally finishing the puzzle I had been working on for over a week and now being able to get the card table out of the middle of the apartment. I admit, there are some pros to having an extra table in the middle of the room, such as tripping up unsuspecting burglars and getting some extra vacuuming maneuvering practice, but overall I'm excited to be able to take it down.

That's about it for today.

Day 65

As I have mentioned in older posts, my parents got a new puppy a few weeks ago.  He is the most adorable little thing you have ever seen, but he is also a little stinker sometimes. He is an Australian Heeler, which is a cattle dog, and cattle dogs are known for their nipping.  The puppy is no exception.  He loves playing with all of his toys, but what he really loves is chewing on people.  We're working on that.

What I really enjoy about the puppy is watching him discover the world around him.  It's the same way with babies, but I've never been around consistantly with a young baby to watch the transformation. I'm sure that's one of the joys of parenthood. I have had time to observe the puppy, and he is so much fun to watch. At the beginning it was watching him figure out all of his feet and explore the different rooms of the house.  More recently it has been watching him get braver when he goes outside and start exploring the backyard. He doesn't like being left alone in the backyard yet, but I'm sure he would play with himself for hours out there if someone was willing to stand out in the cold and watch him.  The last couple of days he has enjoyed playing with the snow that is left from the last storm.

This was more of a fun post than a serious one, but it got me thinking how enjoyable it is to observe anyone who has discovered something new and is excited about it.  It could be a new food, a new author, a new game, a new coffee shop, or a new friend.  Discovering something new is one of the little gems of joy that pop up every now and again and make the world a little brighter.

May you find joy in new experiences

Day 64

The day I met "T" I was at one of the lowest points of my life.  Actually, I wouldn't have met him otherwise.  If I had been fine I would have been in Sunday School, but as it was I couldn't handle Sunday School, so I just sat in the foyer with the intention of reading my Bible.  That's when I met T.  He was sitting at the table opposite me, and I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to talk to him.  I fought the prompting but eventually obeyed when T asked me a question and started the conversation going.  The reason I initially fought it was because I had never met, let along talked to, a transgender before, and I wasn't sure if the person sitting across from me was a man or a woman.  I can probably say that it was the most awkward conversation of my life, but one that has had a lasting impact on me.  That conversation forged a relationship with T that has continued to this day. 

The day that T got baptized was one of the most joyful days of my life.  I still get goosebumps thinking about it.  During his testimony, T mentioned me and that the conversation I had with him that first day was one of the reasons he kept coming to church.   You don't know how humbled I was and still am by those words.  God used me at a time when I felt so low that I didn't think I could be used.  When I think back to that morning, I am reminded that when we are weak Christ is strong, and He is the one who deserves the glory.  If T hadn't asked me that first question, I would have continued to fight the Holy Spirit and I would have missed out on not only the privilege of knowing T, but also the lessons that God wanted to teach me. I would have really missed out.

I had the privilege and joy of going out to coffee with T today and we ended up sitting in Starbucks for three hours. I am still humbled that God continues to use me.  T still struggles with things, some very serious things, and so many times I don't know what to say to help him.  I can listen, though, and so that is what I do.   I have learned that so many times people don't want you to fix their problems, they just want you to be there for them. 

When you think of it, pray for T.  He still has a long journey ahead of him.  Please pray for me as well, that God would show me how to be the friend that T needs.  

And may you never resist the Spirit's promptings, because you never know what you might be missing.

May you find joy in following the Spirit.

Day 63

Have you heard that you need to preach the gospel to yourself daily? I have, but I haven't been that intentional about doing it.  Usually it just comes up when I am thinking about something else, or listening to worship music.  But when I was driving to work this morning, I knew that I desperately needed to be reminded of the gospel. I needed to remind myself of the truth that I am sinner, a great, desperate sinner, and that the Son of God, Jesus Christ, came down to earth and lived a perfect, sinless life.  He died on a cross for my sin, a cross that I should have died on instead.  He rose again to life after three days, and then ascended into heaven where He is reigning at the right hand of God. I needed to be reminded of that, because I realize that all too often I forget, and then bad things happen.

Without being reminded of the grace of the gospel, I become prideful.

Without being reminded of the mercy of the gospel, I become judgemental.

Without being reminded of the sacrifice of the gospel, I become selfish.

Without being reminded of the sufficiency of the gospel, I become stuck in my sin.

Without being reminded of the love of the gospel, I become rebellious.

Without being reminded of the hope of the gospel, I become depressed.

The list could go on, but you get the picture. Your list might be the same, or it might be different.  One thing I have learned is this: we should never be surprised by how quickly we can fall away.  We are not as strong as we think we are, which is why we need to hear the gospel every day.  My prayer is that you will not have to learn that the hard way.

May you find joy in the gospel.

Day 62

I felt like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.  It was just one of those days.  Because of that, I needed to be reminded of God's promises, so this psalm is for me.  May you be encouraged by it as well.

Psalm 16
Preserve me, O God, for in You I put my trust.

² O my soul, you have said to the Lord,
“You are my Lord,
My goodness is nothing apart from You.”
³ As for the saints who are on the earth,
“They are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.”

⁴ Their sorrows shall be multiplied who hasten after another god;
Their drink offerings of blood I will not offer,
Nor take up their names on my lips.

⁵ O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You maintain my lot.
⁶ The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Yes, I have a good inheritance.

⁷ I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel;
My heart also instructs me in the night seasons.
⁸ I have set the Lord always before me;
Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.

⁹ Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices;
My flesh also will rest in hope.
¹⁰ For You will not leave my soul in Sheol,
Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption.
¹¹ You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.